Reawakening

Wow! What a weekend!

I have gotten reacquainted with the hippie in me. Wow. Poor girl. She's been locked up in such a small box for so long! She kinda went a little crazy when she got out.

I guess I didn't realize how much of a hippie I really am. I really do believe in energy. I can really feel it. I am an intuitive person. And that is OK. I have denied myself for so long now. No wonder I have been trying to find myself. I know I'm a wife and a mother of two; a crocheter/ knitter; a dog owner. But what type? What type of mother, what type of wife? A good one? A bad one? Mediocre? Is it all just so black and white? I think not. That's why there are rainbows.

Colors. Lots of colors. I've discovered that I need lots of colors. I don't really care for the rainbow, but lots of colors are good. Like lots of different colors of rocks. I have so many crystals. I have 18 spheres alone! WHY??!!Oh yeah, they're so pretty. I miss just looking at them, feeling them. It's crazy to me. I have a metaphysical book that gives the meanings for the rocks. It's pretty crazy that I can be drawn to certain stones and the meaning (somewhere in there) be right on.

Same with tarot cards. Well I use the Faerie Cards. Not really tarot to me. But then again. I don't really use them like the book says. I just see how it pertains to me and my life. Is it going to help me. AM I going to help me? No one can do it but me. Not even a counselor. Sure I can go and they can talk, but it still comes down to me implementing their advice. I know I can give good advice, so I just need to take it. Plain and simple. I just need to figure my shit out. Easier said than done? Maybe. I think it's more about ending old habits. Acknowledging and thinking bout what is really going on in my head and acting appropriately!! Geez. I'm not asking that much of my self. Just a complete life change.